Formerly tormented
The rudders of my heart
Steer me towards an inner you
Ferried by fate
The gleaming words
Bend like reeds
Suppositions of selfhood
I imagine you borne aloft and far away
It brings me grief
I imagine you borne aloft and far away
Peace escapes this shore
With every retraction of wave
What went before
In copper-colored disarray
The grains of sand
Disappear into murky hesitancy
The gasp before the scream
Do the winds aid my progress?
Does the sun purify me from doubt?
Does the earth nourish me to health?
Do the waves cleanse me from fear?
May Hermes guide you through the ether
May Poseidon grant you safe passage
On this, the first long night of loneliness
The echo before earth’s awakening
But who makes the descent now
You or I?
Keep that sun anchored there
Not in cloud
Not in mist
A pinkish-gray suffusion
When platitudes of spirit
Close in upon themselves
Silver-tipped waves beat back
Confusion
A parade of thoughts, jumbled, sincere
Tinged with salt spray
And that odious odor of ocean
You find so welcoming
The homecoming
Not bitterness on grass mats
Am I a ridiculous thing?
I am a ridiculous thing
Immobile driftwood
Thrown up by lots amidst
Fishing line bits and crushed coconut husks
Brown and angular
My hair the raven, dry seaweed
Hopefully not as pathetic as the discarded
Children’s plastic toys
A green sand-catching elephant
Its trunk unceremoniously wedged into the sand
Its vacuous pupils gaze everywhere and
Nowhere
I do not want to end up like that
Obscene and forgotten
A biohazard of the spirit
Such sights on this first long night of loneliness
Are better left beyond the protruding reef rocks
The sun sinks down my esophagus and I am speechless.
One of those heartbreakingly beautiful Hawaiian sunsets, made all the worse when you are alone and choking on grief.
amor et mortem 