An Ode to Computer Spell Checkers

By way of editorial comment: I wish I could take credit for this gem, but I have no idea who wrote it. Of course, there’s no substitute for having human eyes–preferably more than one set–proofread through a piece before its publication/dissemination. I am amazed at the level of egregious typos I see in quality books these days. I think my biggest pet peeve, because I’ve been seeing it so often, including in a Pagan anthology I am currently reading, is the erroneous equation of the word “tenant” with “tenet.” The author means to use the word “tenet” as in listing one’s beliefs, but instead invariably makes her sentence misleadingly about rent by using the word “tenant” instead, good Gods! As a former college English professor and book editor who now earns her daily bread in marketing communications, all I can do is shake my Virgo head sadly. Okay, rant over–enjoy the anonymously written poem!

“An Ode to Computer Spell Checkers”

Author Unknown


I halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word,

And weight four it two say,

Weather eye am wrong or write:

It shewes me strait away.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,

It nose bee fore two long,

And eye can put the error write;

It’s rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it;

Eye am shore ewe our pleased two no

It’s letter perfect awl the way:

My chequer told me so!


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